Ever wonder why what you say is taken the wrong way or more you talk the worse it gets ?
Well Professor Osmo Antero Wiio documented what he observed when it came to communicating (Wiio’s Laws) and to put it in a nutshell with his first law.
“Communication usually fails, except by accident”.
Sounds a bit pessimistic doesn’t it ?
His second law (and my favourite) states
“If a message can be interpreted in several ways, it will be interpreted in a manner that maximises the damage”.
Yep, you read right. The chances of what you are going to say is taken the wrong way is fairly high. Pays to keep it simple sometimes.
My other favourite law is his fourth,
“The more we communicate, the worse communication succeeds”.
Some of us, despite our best efforts just can’t seem to catch a break, the more we try, the more we fail. This can lead to giving up and detaching ourselves from those around us out of fear of doing more damage to the relationship.
Now it really sounds bad, what I say will be misinterpreted and then when I try to fix it, I dig myself a deeper hole. Right ? Go on, nod, because it’s bound to happen to all of us at least once in our life.
The great thing is that we can minimise these things from happening if we become mindful of what we are about to say, word it to the best of our abilities and if it doesn’t work, apologise, try again and learn from the process. Remember, giving up is the last resort.
Andrew is a Couples Coach in his private practice, Kardinya Counselling located in Werribee & Point Cook, Victoria. After working in the IT industry for 15 years, he started following his passion of helping couples find a better way of relating.